“I’m not good at my job.”
“I don’t want to get out of bed.”
“I haven’t had a new idea in months!”
“Why wont this headache go away?”
Listed above are just a few phrases you may say to yourself when your are experiencing burnout. Burnout is known to affect a person both physically and emotionally, and can appear when the body has reduced energy to perform at a job or in daily activities. This can be extremely frustrating! Psychology Today identifies burnout as “A state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress.” Burnout can look like: frequent self-criticism, increased fatigue, lack of motivation to complete daily tasks, or lingering pain such as headaches or stomachaches. Luckily, burnout is treatable.
You may be wondering, ‘where does burnout come from?’ Burnout can be found in many areas of life; feeling overwhelmed at work or in caretaking roles, high-focused duties that lack breaks, intense involvement in areas that lack our interest, and even in relationships, whether romantic or otherwise. Experiencing burnout can be a sign to our mind and body that something different is needed. Oftentimes, taking a break can prevent burnout temporarily, but once you’re already in a burnout situation, something needs to change, whether it be a change in jobs, removing unhealthy relationships from ones life, or simply taking time for yourself through self-care.
Burnout is something that happens gradually and often isn’t predictable. However, if we pay close enough attention, we can learn the signs of burnout and implement coping skills early on. Preventing burnout can be done with certain self-care behaviors such as mediation, deep breathing, connecting with loved ones, proper sleep, talking with a trusted person about difficult situations going on in life, learning to implement boundaries, evaluating a change of job or living arrangement, etc.
Once we are physically in a burnout, we can implement the aforementioned strategies, but it may require even more of a step back from the situation that is causing burnout. Often we need to take a serious break to reset ourselves. Feel free to give yourself a pat on the back; you are a hard worker and life seemed to just catch up to you!
Article contribution by Maggie Berg, MS, MFT-IT
What are they?
The Sunday Scaries are pretty universal to the human experience. Occurring exclusively on the last day of the weekend or the day before you have to return to work after some time off, the Sunday Scaries consist of that pit-in-your-stomach, dread-filled, anxiety-inducing knowledge that the weekend is over and another work week is about to begin again.
The term basically refers to that sense of trepidation you feel at having to face another week from the beginning all over again. Not only do the Sunday Scaries give you anxiety, but they give you anxiety so strong that you can’t even enjoy what little weekend you have left. Typically, you end up unable to relax at all after the Sunday Scaries hit and just sit staring at the clock, ruing every wasted, passing hour.
Why do they happen?
Let me paint a picture for you: Imagine it’s Sunday afternoon. You just had a great weekend filled with relaxation time, lazy mornings, and just a hint of productivity (in my opinion, this is the recipe for a perfect weekend). You’re relaxing on your couch watching the Great British Baking Show for the billionth time and reflecting on how refreshed you feel after such a lovely couple of days off. Suddenly you recall the reason why a couple of days off felt so needed.
You remember how last week you had been so stressed at work because several deadlines all seemed to align on your busiest day. You had realized a day late that you had missed one of those deadlines and had gotten chewed out by one of your coworkers via email with your direct supervisor CC’d. Not only all of that, but on Wednesday morning you woke up to find your car with a flat tire (you knew you should have checked it more thoroughly after accidentally driving over that pothole on the freeway on Monday while you were driving home). Overall, it had felt like such a long and tiring week, and you had felt so ready to just take some time to recharge.
But now, on Sunday afternoon, with only a few hours of weekend remaining and Monday morning looming on the horizon, you are faced with the tragic truth: The weekend is over and you’re about to face a new week, probably equally stressful to the last. What horrors may lie before you? Only Monday will tell, so you’d better waste your last seven hours of free time worrying about all the awful possibilities (at least, that’s what the Sunday Scaries tell you to do).
How can we cope?
Obviously, feeling gut-wrenching anxiety about once a week isn’t the most pleasant experience. There must be another way! The good news is, there definitely are other ways. The bad news is, most likely none of them will completely eradicate the Sunday Scaries to the point of extinction. But maybe, throwing one or two of these ideas into practice will allow you to reclaim some of those last moments of recuperation time before Monday morning actually arrives. Here are four ideas to beat the Sunday Scaries and take back your weekend!
1. Make Sundays for relaxation only.
I speak from experience when I say that it’s easy to leave all your chores and errands to do on Sunday. Sundays often become a sort of “catch-up” day for a lot of people. It’s the day you clean, pick up groceries, wash your bedsheets, put gas in the car, etc. And I totally get why we do it too! We’re so exhausted after the long work week that we just want to finally get to the relaxing part of the weekend. Unfortunately, this sets us up for greater anxiety by the end of it. When we leave all our chores for Sunday, we usually end up dealing with anxiety about that in addition to the standard Sunday Scaries anxiety. Here’s my first tip: Get all your errands and chores out of the way before Sunday arrives. Reserve Sundays for relaxation only. If you have any tasks to cross off before Monday morning, do them on Friday or Saturday. Don’t needlessly double your Sunday apprehension!
2. Plan something you’ll look forward to on Sunday night.
So now you’ve booked yourself a full day of relaxation every Sunday. But what more can you do? Make yourself even more excited for Sunday to arrive! Plan something you always look forward to doing, even if it’s seemingly small. Examples might include ordering takeout, watching a favorite movie or TV show, lighting a lovely-smelling candle, putting on your coziest pajamas, or taking a slow stroll around the neighborhood while listening to your favorite podcast or playlist. The options are endless. Whatever it is, make it something that you’ll truly feel eager to experience on Sunday evening and you might just replace your worry with excitement!
3. Practice anxiety-reduction techniques.
Let’s say you’ve done tips 1 and 2 and you’re still feeling the Scaries creeping up on you. You’re not alone! Making Sundays more enjoyable is not the end-all-be-all of eradicating your Monday apprehension. In fact, it’s usually not that easy. So what now? My next tip is to face that fear head-on with some anxiety-reduction techniques. The goal is to do something that will regulate your autonomic nervous system (which controls your “fight-or-flight” anxiety response) and activate your parasympathetic nervous system (which is responsible for rest and recovery from stress). Here are some ideas for you: Spending time outside, deep breathing, exercise, meditation or mindfulness, playing with your pet, taking a cool shower, or visualizing a calm space. If you aren’t sure what to try, a therapist is a great resource! We would love to brainstorm self-care and calming activities with you.
4. Prepare for Monday morning ahead of time.
If your worry just refuses to be kicked out, you can at least give yourself fewer things to feel anxious about on Sunday night. Ask yourself, “What can I do to feel more prepared for Monday morning?” and then try to accomplish at least 2 or 3 of the things you come up with before you go to sleep on Sunday. Some things I usually do are pack my lunch, lay out my clothes for the next day (including shoes!), fill out my planner or to-do list for the week, set my alarm, and get out a mug to use for my coffee in the morning. What helps you feel prepared for a new week might be completely different than me though, so focus on what really is going to set you up for success when you step out of bed the next day.
If all else fails, remind yourself that you can always do your best and be proud of how hard you are trying, even when things aren’t going your way. Let’s start this new week off strong!
If you’re interested in meeting with a therapist to get some insight on your personal Sunday Scaries, or if you just want to talk about life in general, the therapists at EVOLVEwithin would love to help! Give us a call at (262) 649-3297 or visit our website to learn more or to request an appointment. We can’t wait to get to know you!
Article contribution by Tabitha Schroeder, MS, MFT-IT
Maggie here, lets talk about stigmas! Stigmas around mental health are everywhere. Luckily while working in the field of mental health I have had the privilege of helping reduce that “stigma” and neutralizing mental health illness. It is my hope that this blog will inform those of you who struggle with mental illness and educate those of you who may not realize the lasting effects of stigmas. Through my post-secondary education and experience I have seen many people struggle with the effects of the stigmas and discriminations that are so prevalent around mental health. I have seen connections between stigmas and discrimination. Mayo Clinic defines stigma as a person viewing an asset or quality within someone in a negative way. With that being said, if a person is treating you in a negative way because of your mental illness, this can be similar to discrimination.
An unfortunate side effect that individuals can encounter when having a mental illness is this black cloud of assumptions they could experience from society. This burden, in turn, worsens the problem and makes it difficult for one to cope. Individuals experiencing this stigma can feel shame in their personal lives, fear in getting treatment, self-doubt, hopelessness, and isolation. In working in the medical field, I have had the privilege of working with some amazing professionals who have both studied stigma and who have taught people with this cloud how to overcome such sadness. With that being said I have learned an important skill, which is to remember: You are in control.
You are in control! Try to think to yourself, “what are the things in my life that I can have control over and what are the things that I do not have control over?” When we put our thoughts into this kind of perspective it can decrease the anxieties that one experiences when worrying about things outside of their control. An example of this could be individuals that create stigma and discrimination around mental illness. This is out of our control, but what we can control is reaching out for help when we have difficulty overcoming those influences.
This is easier said than done. The heaviness that the world places on us can be extremely powerful, especially when the judgment comes from our loved ones. However, this is not an impossible task. The idea of reminding oneself, “Is this in my control or out of my control?” is key! This will take practice, but with practice will come a great deal of reward and ease. Accepting what is out of your control and then modifying what is in your control can serve you best when learning how to handle mental health stigma.
Stigma and discrimination may always be there but having these conversations, informing, being aware, and sharing articles like this one will educate and support those who may not know the impact of their perception. Don’t let stigma be the cause of your anxiety and depression; continue to remind yourself, “Getting help is in my control and changing what others think and say is out of my control.”
Here at EVOLVEwithin, we care deeply for those working through mental illness and care deeply for the relationships you have. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health we have wonderful therapists who are able to help. Give us a call at (262)-649-3297 to schedule your spot today!
Article contribution by Maggie Berg, MFT Clinical Intern